Published: 1/4/2016 in the Penticton Herald
Psychologists tell us that humans beings are “Engineered for success, but conditioned for failure”.
Apparently we listen to 180,000 no’s in our lifetime, (very few yes’s) 78 per cent of our illnesses are psychosomatic (self induced) and 74 per cent of our thoughts tend to be negative.
Sounds pretty bad!
Published: 12/21/2016 in the Penticton Herald
Someone defined insanity as continuing to do the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
In my years as an international life coach, I’ve found that those people who really, really wanted to make changes, consciously made a decision to write a new script for their life, and take back control of it.
They finally grasped that if they didn’t, life by default would do it for them and take them in a direction that would steal their true potential from them.
The man knelt at the foot of the mountain all night.
At first, his body clung to the remnants of the day's heat exuding from the rocks around him, but all too soon this heat was gone and the mantle of cold dropped insidiously on him like a malevolent spirit seeking to crush him.
A fine hoar frost began to cover his beard and cloak as he strived to focus his mind on maintaining his body temperature at a level that would enable him to survive the night.
The holy man had instructed him how to do this, warning him that many had tried and failed this test and had been found frozen solid by early morning pilgrims who themselves had sought shelter indoors for the duration of the night.
His limbs by now had settled protestingly into the kneeling position.
In the distance, out on the plain, he could hear the occasional cough of a desert tiger as it stalked it's prey. Closer at hand he tensed as he became aware of an all too-familiar sound;
A snake slithering towards him!
He felt a coil of fear touch the very core of his being.
God how he hated them! His grandfather had been killed by one.
He suddenly realized that the bone-chilling cold had driven the snake out from the rocks and it was now seeking warmth.
His was the only heat around!
His breath stilled even further as he felt the snake move in against his leg and stop.
He fought off an urge to snatch it away and hurl it against the nearby rocks.
But almost at the same time, as if some connection had taken place, he understood at a deeper level, that the snake was merely seeking an accommodation with another living creature and was of no threat to him.
I was recently surprised to read that blind people don’t smoke.
The article didn’t spell it out, but I surmised that those people who had smoked prior to becoming blind, still smoked afterwards. It’s now the time of year when we tend to look at our life and make some New Year resolutions. Especially related to those habits (not just smoking), that can be detrimental to our well-being and potential success.
Habits are learned, and are formed to fulfill certain needs.
For example, after we have been driving for some time, we motor along, sometimes without any conscious awareness of changing gears, where we are, braking and so on. Our driving skills are now operating at an unconscious level. Advanced driving course instructors remind us of the need to still stay alert and be continually aware of potential traffic dangers.
Bad habits too are learned and adopted to fulfill certain needs. Conscious attempts to change a bad habit, always meet with powerful resistance. In fact it increases the desire to continue the bad habit.
Hunger for food for example, may be an emotional need to offset loneliness, depression or a lack of love. After the food binge, one often feels guilty and even worse than ever. The viscous circle continues.
Will power alone doesn’t work.
Where smoking is concerned, to keep repeating “I will not smoke anymore” doesn’t have any effect unless one has super human will power. Experience shows that good intentions alone rarely last.
If one is serious about stopping smoking, it is imperative to sit down and list the reasons why one smokes.
My rucksack, by this time, was cutting deeply into my shoulders, so I was relieved when a car finally stopped some yards ahead on the hot Queensland tarmacadam-paved road.
I grabbed the rear door quickly in case the driver changed his mind, and slung my rucksack into the back seat. When I slid into the passenger seat I saw the driver, a solid middle-aged male wearing a bush hat, eying me keenly. There was a half smile on his face.
"Trouble getting rides Mate?" he asked, as he swung the vehicle back onto the highway.
"God yes! I've been walking for hours without anyone offering a ride. I was some glad you stopped... thanks!" I said fervently.
He chuckled. "I hate to point this out Mate, but having a point 22 rifle sticking up from the back of your rucksack, doesn't exactly encourage drivers to stop."
I groaned. "Oh crimes, I never even thought of that!"
He glanced across at me again. "Can I ask why you're carrying the rifle son?"
I shrugged. "Well, I heard Australia was crawling with rabbits and figured I could bag some for the pot when I camp out."
I recall the African leader of a new democracy some years back who locked up all of the opposition and when questioned by the media as to his motives, he basically said that he didn't see any sense in paying the opposition to to argue with his brilliant ideas.
That's one take on democracy!
Then you have the Italian parliamentarians who get so impassioned, they revert to fisticuffs.
At least they feel strongly about it.
We see passion too in the Arab spring where people put their very lives on the line, to do away with dictatorships in their longing for freedom and the opportunity to take some ownership and control over their future.
Remember NEDA, that beautiful young woman who was shot in the streets of Tehran and her blood-spattered body was held in her father's arms, as she died.
One wonders how the Iraqis and Afghans view the blueprint of democracy, that they've inherited, when they see how ineffective it appears to be right now in the United States, the so called 'beacon' of democracy.
Transform Your Life
The Transform Your Life Journal came about when I was involved as an international life coach for 15 years. A number of potential clients were contacting me from various places around the world. I obviously couldn't visit all of them so I designed the Transform Your Life Journal which would act as a blueprint for future success in their lives. Basically, it's like having your own personal life coach. If you truly want to change your life, this success journal will do it for you... abundantly!
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